Next thursday at 1pm I will be here with Dan, enjoying the sunshine and beautiful beaches. After a lot of worrying, we finally booked it today but I'm yet to receive my confirmation email. If I haven't received anything tomorrow, I'll call them to check everything is in order. I do have reference numbers for everything from the booking, so it should be fine. I just enjoy worrying for the sake of worrying.

I've never been to Portugal before, Dan has many years ago with his family, so I'm excited to visit somewhere new. When it comes to beach holidays, I usually go for Greece but Dan insists that lagos is lovely, and looking at the pictures it does look beautiful. 

I will be spending my 22nd birthday here, I love spending my birthdays abroad and having Dan with me this year just makes it all the more exciting.

Anyway, time to carry on drinking all my dad's earl grey and watch wimbledon.

Over and out.

Today was just an uneventful as yesterday, I still feel awful but I'm trying to get things done. I managed to get my holiday money sorted, just waiting for Dan to sort his out. It's making me a little anxious, so many of the holidays we looked at became more expensive the longer we left it, I really don't want that to happen to this one. Hopefully he will transfer the money today/tonight and I'll be able to book it tomorrow morning.


I am emotionally drained at the moment, looking for jobs is more stressful than I thought it would be.


On a happier note, I've just downloaded a lot of ear candy that might cheer me up slightly.

Nottingham, coffee, belgium chocolates and cuddles o’plenty.

Those are all the things I miss doing with my wonderful boyfriend.

On Sunday morning we finally parted ways, after spending a whole month together in Manchester and then for a short while in my hometown. When he left I could feel the emptiness all around me, I couldn't stop crying and I'm still crying on and off at the moment. I had my first night without him last night and it was awful, I wasn't comfy or warm, I wasn't happy or relaxed, I would have done anything to have him back with me. I guess this all sounds a bit over the top to some of you but it is genuinely how I feel, I've never missed someone so much in my life. When he leaves or I leave, I feel like a part of me has been left behind or taken from me, I become lost and unable to make use of our time apart. It is such a strange feeling and it overwhelms me, I wish I could shake it off but I really can't. I never get used to being away from him, it hurts more and more each time. I know that it's only a week until we're together again but it doesn't seem to be any comfort to me.

I miss lying down on my bed, all snuggled up with him, eating the chocolates Dad brought me back from Belgium and drinking coffee. I miss spending time with him and my friends, I miss being able to kiss him whenever I please, I miss making him smile, I miss everything about us and it's only been a day. Most of all I just miss being by his side.

Will someone please make this week go faster?

Due to my lack of internet, I'm having to write my blog posts on my mac and post them whenever I get the chance to go online. I've had a rather eventful week so I need to start posting them and now Dan has left I have a lot of spare time on my hands.
I received my provisional marks for university at the start of the week, I was completely overcome with nerves when my friend told me they were online. My hands were shaking as I typed my log in details into my awful blackberry mobile internet, I don't know why I was so nervous because I passed and with good marks. We get our final marks on the 5th July but I doubt much will have been altered. I almost have something to show for my four years at uni, I was so pleased to find out that I was given firsts for all my scripts, nothing makes me happier than knowing I'm succeeding in the areas I love the most. I plan on spending the summer writing more scripts, amongst the summer frolicking of course, I really want to show production companies that I can write and hopefully I'll get the career I want so badly. In other news, I finally ordered my graduation robes after getting dad to measure my head circumference. This graduation business is starting to feel more and more real thesedays, I'm terribly excited but I hope I don't fall over when I get up there.

A little reminder for myself.

Buy three more years of macbook pro apple care before August, or you'll be teary eyed if your baby ever breaks without cover.

Perfect end to a perfect month.

Yesterday we went to the Parklife Festival, at first it looked like we'd be facing rain and hail all day but it soon went away. By the time we'd got into the park, bought drinks and sat down on the grass, the sun was beaming down on us and  the festival had begun. Since I was 15 I've been going to Leeds Festival every year, this year I can't afford it so Parklife was meant to make up for it. It wasn't the same, obviously, but it meant I had that festival feeling for one summery day. I don't know what it is about festivals but I adore everything about them, the crowds, the constant pounding, all day drinking with no hangover the next day, extortionate food, sun, friends and good bands. The end of the festival yesterday was by far the best part, Two Door Cinema Club were fantastic; Me and Dan danced the night away. I felt waves of happiness wash over me in that last hour, it was bliss to be watching one of our favourite bands together. It just made me even more excited about seeing Bright Eyes and Death Cab For Cutie with him, I think they will be two nights to remember.  Not long after we had to endure a horrendous bus ride back home, but we were back in his basement room in no time, eating nutella on toast and drinking tea.

Today we're packing for the week at mine, we leave at half 6 this evening so I might need to get myself off the computer soon.  I still have soaking wet hair and zero make up on my face, oh and my suitcase has yet to be packed. There's so many exciting things happening in this forthcoming week, I don't know whether to be scared, nervous or excited so I think I'll be all three. 

Those quiet days.

Our time in Manchester is almost over, for now anyway, tomorrow is Parklife Festival and sunday night we'll be travelling to my home. The past couple of days have been quite relaxed and uneventful, we spent most of wednesday with Dan's friend and the rest of the time has been spent doing very little. Little trips to asda in the rain, museum visits, curling up with hot chocolate, baking cookies, drinking tea and generally just enjoying eachothers company. Tomorrow will be a long day but a good one, a more lengthy blog entry will be needed for that.

I can hear Bright Eyes - The Ladder Song playing in the kitchen, that is my cue to go give Daniel some company.

Home.

"And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born, then it's time to go and define your destination, there's so many different places to call home."


I think the reason I love this song so much, besides the fact that I completely adore this band, is because I can apply it to myself and how I've almost always felt. I'm sure a lot of people would agree that they've felt this way before too, I think most people have felt like they don't belong in their hometown at some point or other.


Apart from the 'city' part of these lyrics, it is exactly how I feel about my home and how I've felt for a long time. I live in a small town in Nottinghamshire that has never been particularly exciting, the only up side to it is the fact that it is only 30 minutes away from Nottingham, is surrounded by beautiful parks and forests, contains my loved ones and proves to be pretty good at giving you peace and quiet. As much as I love cities, I'm glad I wasn't brought up in one but I'm also glad I could easily get to Nottingham whenever I wanted to. I had the best of both worlds I guess, living in a  quieter place but having a city close by. I have some extraordinary friends from living there, ones that I could not function without. My friends are like brother and sisters to me, they have looked after me for years and continue to do so when we're all miles apart. I talk to them all near enough everyday and eventhough I don't have as many friends as someone who came from a city, went to a bigger school/sixth form, I'd always much rather have fewer real friends than dozens of distant friends. Dan is a good example, he has so many friends from school but he rarely sees them, he rarely calls them, he rarely texts them but he does have a few clear favourites. This is not my way of saying he doesn't have as many real friends as me, he has his best friends and they are lovely people but he's just not as close to them as I am to mine. However, he is already close to two of my best friends and he's well on his way to being close to the others. I love how much they adore him and how much he enjoys spending time with them. Unfortunately I've not had the pleasure of spending a lot of time his friends, apart from Julian who is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I have however, had the pleasure of spending quite a huge amount of time with his family, I think I met the majority of his family when we went mountain climbing for his mum's 50th. This weekend he will be meeting my family properly, he's only met my brother briefly before.


Oh and as always I'm completely going off on a tangent, so I'll stop now. The only reason I decided to talk about this song is because Dan will be experiencing my small hometown this sunday for a week. I'm nervous because it isn't very exciting and I've never taken much of a liking to it either. Luckily I can take him to Nottingham and the surrounding areas, which are much nicer. I love Nottinghamshire, it has so many lovely places within it but my town just isn't one of them. I don't plan to live there for much longer, if I can help it. Most of my friends felt the same, now they've moved on and found another places to call home. I'm next it seems, it's now my turn to figure out where I want to settle for now.


You shouldn't forget where you came from, no matter how wonderful your new home is or how happy you are there, you still became the person you are today partly because of the surroundings you were brought up in. As much as I hate where I'm from, I love the person it made me and the people it gave me. The rhyme wasn't intentional : )

Today we were meant to visit the Manchester Museum but we were late leaving the flat and it apparently closes early on mondays.

So we wandered around for a bit, wondering what to do instead until Dan suggested a place he'd heard good things about.

It's called The Font Bar and unfortunately it was full of rowdy first years, or maybe final year students at college, either way they were irritating. 

They have a good selection of beers there, I don't prefer it to Sandbar but it was still a nice place and the food was yummy. 

So we sat, ate, drank and tried to forget about the group of students in the corner. I had falafel and Dan had Jerk chicken pittas, I started on the diet coke but after a while I gave in to lovely fruit beer. It would be rude not to.

I managed to knock over Dan's tiger beer when I was completely sober, not entirely sure how I managed it but I'm still not sure how I manage to trip over my own feet on a daily basis either.

Tomorrow we're going to try again with the museum, might even persuade Dan to let me visit Hey Little Cupcake again, nom!

Our first summer begins.

Over the past few days we've been enjoying the sunshine for the first time together, mostly by just sitting in every park we come across.

This the most time I've spent in Manchester since we met and the more time I spend here, the more I fall in love with the place. 

I can't say I'm a massive fan of his basement room but the city is incredible and seeing him everyday isn't too bad either : )

We spent time at a wonderful place we found called Sandbar, where they stock so many delicious german and belgian beers. 

It is such a cute little place but it's rather expensive, I can't wait to go back though.

Oh and they have the best homemade chips I have ever tasted.

Visiting the park a little tipsy, laughing and listening to Bright Eyes, Death Cab for Cutie, City & Colour and Tegan & Sara.

I was pleasantly surprised to find my hair is auburn in the sunlight, not the colour I was going for when I dyed it but I'm still rather fond of it.

Plattfields is such a pretty park, we had a lovely day there even if we did get a little sunburnt. It's also where we'll be going for the parklife festival next weekend.

I'm always blown away by how beautiful he is, I wish he could see what I see. 

My favourite thing about this park is the ducks, my least favourite being the geese. Dan's reaction to the little ducklings every time they came round was adorable, and when they swam closer to the edge his eyes lit up.

Wearing tights was a bad idea that day, my legs were on fire! 

Our picnic was full of yummy treats, the fruit being my favourite along with the cous cous and diet coke.

I love that this is only the beginning, we have so many things planned for our summer.

A song to describe what you are to me..

There are plenty to choose from but this is my favourite one today.

"You're the northern wind, sending shivers down my spine.
You're like fallen leaves, in an autumn night.
You're the lullaby, singing me to sleep,
You are the other half,
You're like a missing piece,
Oh my love."

One of the best.

This particular night will go down in my history as one of the best nights of my life, not because something spectacular happened or anything out of the ordinary, infact the reason is quite the opposite. It was just an ordinary night in with him, consisting of tasty food, laughter, love and perfection. It is moments like this that only reaffirm what I already know is in my heart; that I always be in love with Daniel Marc Chapman. Any simple, ordinary night that feels perfect, only reminds me of how lucky I am and a night like this will always be one of the best.

This is how my perfect night was that night, he was making us delicious dinner as always, I’m washing up all the pots and we have Death Cab’s new album playing in the background on my macbook pro. Nothing spectacular, nothing out of the ordinary, just simple and wonderful. Nothing compares to how it feels to be around him with our favourite music playing in the background, he is the best part of my life. Sometimes I think that if someone were watching our story, this would be the music that plays in the background.

One day I will finish writing my book and I will let the whole world know how wonderful the simple things are in life, and how magnificent people can be if you’re strong enough to let them in. I want to let the world know that you can find happiness in the darkest situations and that things will get better if you just give it time. I know many a writer has preached the same sort of things but I don't care, I want to help at least one person with my words and the stories of my life. I'm not saying I've been through worse things than others, I'm just saying that everyone has a story to tell and it's these stories that help others to learn and grow. I want to help other people with my story and my words, just like the books and songs I love helped me.

Oh how I love this boy, he scurries into the room I’m sat in when he realizes I’ve left his, only to give me a single kiss and scurry back. I could write poems and songs about this perfect human being, that I get the pleasure of spending my life with. I’ve only ever wrote songs and poems about someone else and myself, once I have some time to myself I will change this. I will write about this boy and how my life has changed, I will write about how he makes me feel every day and how incredibly beautiful he is.

Life feels perfect right now.

New Start. New Blog.

Before now I'd always used tumblr to keep all my thoughts and scribblings in order, but now university is over and my life is changing so this calls for a new blog. I know moving from tumblr to blogger is not much of a change but it feels right to me. My tumblr feels clogged up with posts about university and dissertations, it is full of old memories; the good and the bad. Now my life is changing, four long years at university have amounted to this moment. The moment where you're not sure what to do next, the moment where everything changes and that feeling of being excited and terrified at the same time hits you. I'm entering this new stage in my life that no longer revolves around flat parties, a student loan, intense library sessions, lectures, essays, boys, drama, new friends, copious amounts of coffee and drinking games. All the good parts of university are coming with me but the rest of it is being left behind.

My tumblr is also clogged up with the memories of someone else and in the last 8 months I had the pleasure of meeting a boy, a boy who has made me happier than I ever thought possible.

Five months ago we fell in love, so this is my 20 something life and his 20 something life with me.

A new stage in life, needs a new blog.